What happens to us as we get older? Through childhood we live life confidently carefree, then sometime in later years we realize that we've lost that freedom.
I went on an audition tonight for a paid background singing gig. All of the incentive, training and talent was there for me to take the job and run, but I wasn't picked.
The Diva has been humbled.
I've been sitting here going back and forth about what I must have done wrong, and everything in me says that I just didn't commit enough, or take enough risks and show what makes me unique.
I know better than to let post audition negativity get me down, and I shouldn't think anything about it because everyone in the business hears "No" before they hear "Yes".
All of this pity and self loathing, however, has caused me to remember what it felt like as a child.
Very early on, I would lock myself in my bedroom and learn the songs on the radio or tapes that my mother owned. I knew them all. I loved singing in the school and church choirs. Nothing felt better than being in the moment of a song and experiencing it from head to toe.
My point in this blog has to do with that great childhood feeling and questioning why it hasn't stuck and carried through my life up to now. Or has it?
As I write this, I can't help feeling frustrated with myself for not bring it out, along with all of the new wonderful skills I've learned. I don't think I'm being fair to myself by feeling this way without further analyzing whether I'm truly responsible for "messing up."
I think I have been truly blessed by God with a beautiful singing voice. I've become the woman I am today because of my experiences with music. My purpose in life is to share the emotion of those experiences and hopefully effect others.
Tonight's performance was not bad by any measure. The only mistake I've made is comparing myself to the other women auditioning, thus thinking that I would have been better by doing something they'd done. (Wow! Blogging is great for catching your ridiculous ideas.)
So, I didn't mess up. Given the time, one could think of a million reasons why something went right or wrong and never really know the truth.
And I never thought negatively about singing as a child, I just did it and I enjoyed every moment of it.
We call this confidence ladies and gentlemen. We should all have enough faith in ourselves to just brush off negativity and continue on with our lives. Todays lesson: Be your own cheerleader. Rah! Rah!
The reality of singing as an adult is, I haven't lost my joy. Singing is and will always be there because I love it so much. When I perform live, or do a studio session I am my happiest.
This tells me that my childhood experience hasn't gone away, its just grown up a little. I'll keep this thought for future reference.
Life has the potential to knock you down, but humans are beautifully built and able to restore themselves back to an upright position.
I went on an audition tonight for a paid background singing gig. All of the incentive, training and talent was there for me to take the job and run, but I wasn't picked.
The Diva has been humbled.
I've been sitting here going back and forth about what I must have done wrong, and everything in me says that I just didn't commit enough, or take enough risks and show what makes me unique.
I know better than to let post audition negativity get me down, and I shouldn't think anything about it because everyone in the business hears "No" before they hear "Yes".
All of this pity and self loathing, however, has caused me to remember what it felt like as a child.
Very early on, I would lock myself in my bedroom and learn the songs on the radio or tapes that my mother owned. I knew them all. I loved singing in the school and church choirs. Nothing felt better than being in the moment of a song and experiencing it from head to toe.
My point in this blog has to do with that great childhood feeling and questioning why it hasn't stuck and carried through my life up to now. Or has it?
As I write this, I can't help feeling frustrated with myself for not bring it out, along with all of the new wonderful skills I've learned. I don't think I'm being fair to myself by feeling this way without further analyzing whether I'm truly responsible for "messing up."
I think I have been truly blessed by God with a beautiful singing voice. I've become the woman I am today because of my experiences with music. My purpose in life is to share the emotion of those experiences and hopefully effect others.
Tonight's performance was not bad by any measure. The only mistake I've made is comparing myself to the other women auditioning, thus thinking that I would have been better by doing something they'd done. (Wow! Blogging is great for catching your ridiculous ideas.)
So, I didn't mess up. Given the time, one could think of a million reasons why something went right or wrong and never really know the truth.
And I never thought negatively about singing as a child, I just did it and I enjoyed every moment of it.
We call this confidence ladies and gentlemen. We should all have enough faith in ourselves to just brush off negativity and continue on with our lives. Todays lesson: Be your own cheerleader. Rah! Rah!
The reality of singing as an adult is, I haven't lost my joy. Singing is and will always be there because I love it so much. When I perform live, or do a studio session I am my happiest.
This tells me that my childhood experience hasn't gone away, its just grown up a little. I'll keep this thought for future reference.
Life has the potential to knock you down, but humans are beautifully built and able to restore themselves back to an upright position.
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